My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
