so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
