i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
