I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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