"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
