Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
