Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
