And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Randomize
