How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
