We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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