Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
