ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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