His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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