D3 body, D1 cock
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
