you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
