We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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