go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
