I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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