no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
