nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize