thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
