Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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