Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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