I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
