sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
