This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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