I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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