Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
