3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
