I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
