Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
