it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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