one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
