I'm gonna have a badass scar
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
