no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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