She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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