i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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