my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
