Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
