apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
