I understand Curling. That high.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
