Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
