idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
