i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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