In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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