ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
