we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
