I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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