She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
