you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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