I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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