i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
