ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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