As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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