David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just gift wrapped bread.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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