So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
