I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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