It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
