It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
