Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
