I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
