Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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