I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
