.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
