i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Less talking, more tequila
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
