I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize