Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
